One day in June, I went to work at my branding agency. Immediately, I get called into the office of my Creative Director. As I walk in, the CEO is already sitting there looking a bit bummed, and I cheerfully greet them both and make myself comfortable.
"We have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" asks the Creative Director. "Uhh, let's hear the bad news first" I say. (For the record, I'm paraphrasing here so that you can get back to your life quicker, instead of me rambling on in a documentarian tone.)
"We're downsizing the company, and we had to let go of three employees. You are one of them." Nodding understandingly, I say "Alright, cool."
"The good news is that we can pay you a month's severance... We don't believe anyone should be put in that situation."
"Oh great, thank you!" I reply, "That's generous of you, I really appreciate it. Awesome!"
"Wow -- well you're taking this much better than I thought. Nevermind that I was worried last night and couldn't sleep thinking about laying you off! But it's ok I guess." I immediately respond "I'm sorry man, it's alright, really. This is good... It's like the universe is telling me something. Everythings fitting into place."
Of course I was taking everything exceptionally well because I had decided to hit the bong before going to work for the first and only time, so everything was irie mon. :)
Expensive Stamford apartment displaying their "art" in the lobby. Really? Someone paid for this? This is why the world needs us!
Finally free from the corporate hamster wheel! No more sitting in traffic pumping in and out of New York City! I have all the time to myself to make something that I'd like to see in the world. Now is the only shot my girlfriend and I will have to be our own bosses, doing what we love. So we decide to move to Oakland, California. Away from shit like this:
Driving across the country took five days of just reclining in the car with pillows under our arms and catheters* hooked up to our mouths for ultimate recycled hydration! It was a blast! Very much like the Schlaaang SuperSeat but for your car! No, not really... Here are some shots from the trip:
Middletown, New York, en-route to California from Connecticut. I can't see anything. It's early and that bright white sky was blinding. 1st morning on the road.
Somewhere in PA
Good morning Ohio! 2nd day
Indiana maybe? These barns are not everywhere. Understand that its mainly those gold fields around there.
Cher in her Honda Fit going through Illinois? Again, I have no idea about the midwest now. Instagram was supposed to be geolocating these!
Gloriously flat Iowa! Home of corn.
Glory fading. Same shit on the next gas tank.
Here's a well kept secret: Ejaculate & Evacuate. As was taught to us by Charlotte.
Where are they using these in Nebraska?
Great plains of Wyoming
Mesas right?
Salt Lake City is nice. Surrounded by beautiful mountains and inhabited by cool peeps.
My xB at this point sounds dreadful and I'm just wishing for it to make it to Cali. Metallic grinding noises coming from the engine bay... with the tow hitch 3 inches from the ground the whole way. Yeah I'm pretty G.
Beef Jerky which one moment I was enjoying at one end....
...at a rest stop enjoying it out the other. -- Nevada
Don't mess.
The coastal regions have trees, hills, things and stuff while the middle gets to ya. Ohio through Illinois are smeared together as one state with many tolls. And out in the middle-middle...like Nebraska? Fuck Nebraska! And fuck Nevada! Of course -- of course all the states are equally great and have their merits. I'm just recounting this from my narrow ignorant slice of just driving past them on I-80...but Nevada didn't have soap in ANY rest stop.
And I don't mean like, they were serviced poorly and they just forgot. I mean they don't believe in soap. There weren't any dispensers or devices to contain and distribute soap into your pee soaked hands - don't judge me, I'm trying to be entertaining. Cher considered donating a hand sanitizer to the cause, but was distracted by an abandoned ghost town saloon. When we needed to crash for the night after blazing through Utah and Nevada, stopping frequently to address the diarrhea from bad jerky, Reno was completely booked.
We peaced out and made it to the Sierra mountain range in California and OH MY GOD! It was the most beautiful experience after the flat, dry, endless, boring, mind-numbing, desolate, floor of America. The evergreens made the air so delicious you wanted to drive with your mouth open to drink it. Here's a link to my instagram if you're interested in seeing more boring interstate pictures from the road trip and my life in general. The images below are the last stretch from the Californian border in reverse order.
WE LOVE YOU CALIFORNIA!
Peace.